I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
