I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
