wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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