you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
