I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize