Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If I die, sorry about rent.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
