My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just invented taco cereal.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
