the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The air taste purple.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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