ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
