I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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