We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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