her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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