90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
