I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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