Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
