what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I checked into jail on foursquare
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize