Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
