Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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