fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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