What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize