I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
