Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
