I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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