i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
