I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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