jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
