Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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