You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i think im in europe. pls send help
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize