booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Actions speak louder than pants.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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