Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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