? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
