ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
