You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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