the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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