Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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