Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
