Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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