pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
PS: I just woke up from my shower
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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