I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
