yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
