I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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