She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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