apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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