I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
This baby is an asshole
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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