This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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