i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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