I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
