I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
