So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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