It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize