Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
