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So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
