Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
