I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
