dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
