yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
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