I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
