Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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