There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
