She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
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