My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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