Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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