ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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