So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
