i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
