Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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