well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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