can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
not ubering you a puppy
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
