I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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