I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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