this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
